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My Visit with Mr Schwump


...he's sitting there on the bench outside the courthouse. Who is this man? Do I have the right to even ask? I have the choice... to walk by and nod or sitting and trying to find out just who is the real Mr. Schwump...I sit next to him...

Al: "Hey Mr. Schwump.......".
Mr Schwump: [he looks at me and smiles..then gives me a quick nod]
Al: [looking up and around] "looks like rain..."
Mr Schwump: [nods twice; looks away]
Al: "...of course, who can tell.."[searching for an opening] "uh...it might not rain.."
Mr Schwump: [nods; looks down]
Al: "yep...rain.."
[we sit and stare straight ahead...why even try to force conversation?]
Al: "I understand Mrs. Wiley is having a dance this weekend?"[lame, she has one every weekend]
Mr Schwump: [looks at my forehead, smiles and nods, tilts head]
Al: [lying]"I think this time it'll be Freddy Fleet and his Band With a Beat! Of course..who knows?..maybe Ernest T. Bass will pop in."
Mr Schwump: [nods twice; looks away]
Al: [ok, let's give it a try] "Say, some of the boys and I were talking the other day and we was just wondering...what is your first name?"
Mr Schwump: [opens his mouth to speak......]
[But, alas, we both look away at Gomer who's driving by in his pickup, honking his horn, waving and smiling]
"Hey Al....Mr. Schwump!"
[We both wave..mine a little less enthusiastic than normal. My companion's is quick and jolts him so that his toupee shifts. I'm more embarrassed than he is. But, he recovers nicely]
Al: [quietly] "good 'ol Gomer..."
Mr Schwump: [nods; smiles]

...and then I observe something that I find quite remarkable. I never noticed it before. I'm looking at his sleeves and notice that his cufflinks are turquoise with the gold emblazened portrait of Jesus. So beautiful! And then, I notice his tieclasp is The Cross!! A silver cross on a gold bar punctuated with speckles of white...pearl would be my guess. How appropriate this all seems. I look up and his eyes are square on mine.
Mr Schwump:[smiling]"Ok, Al?"
Al: [nods; smiles; looks down]

The End



Top 10 songs this week according to Mayberry Music Charts:

Mayberry Lineman
by Mr. MvBeevee
Burn Baby Burn
by Jubal Foster
Up On The Roof(Blockhouse Lookout Song)
by Gomer Pyle
Oh Make Sure That Gun Clears Your Underwear!
by Andy Taylor
North Carolina on My Mind
by Jim Lindsay
Getting to Know You
by Al Becker & The Milo Boys
How Much is that Bed Jacket in the Window?
By Bee Taylor
Zippity Doodle
by Otis Campbell
Memories
by Floyd Lawson


and the #1 song for the 11th week in a row:

Who Let the Bird Out?
by Little Opie Taylor




Top 5 Books this week:

Flapjack and Sausage Heaven
by Gomer Pyle
A B C F L G: The Letters of Ernest T. Bass
translated by Helen Crump
Field Guide for Dating Waitresses(and Registered Nurses)
by Barney Fife
Hexes and Atmospheric Waves
by Buzz Fluhart (a reprint from his 1923 original manuscript)
Another Use for Bricks
by Ernest T. Bass

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