Goodbye, Barney Fife

Rafe Hollister was there, dressed up in the middle of the day, shoes greased and cats everywhere. With his beloved wife Martha he stood and chatted quietly with the rest of them.....all there to see Barney leave for Raleigh.

"Heck, I should be here. He arrested me once, but he did let me join him in a sing-a-long once too."
"I'm sure he'll appreciate it, Rafe," Andy said, as he greeted Martha with a nod. She smiled and blushed.

They all stood near the bus stop in front of Franklyn's Pharmacy waiting for Barney to arrive. Andy, with one pant leg tucked in his shoe as usual; Helen, looking prim and beautiful; Otis, sober but a bit out of focus, with his wife Rita to keep him in line. The whole town seemed to be there...all waiting to bid farewell to their local hero.

Two happy fellows were sitting on a wood-slat bench nearby.
"Nuts, Floyd?" Goober nudged Floyd with his big bag of goodies.
"No thanks, Goober," Floyd said, as he showed his half-eaten red lollipop.
Goober continued to attack his sack of peanuts like a squirrel: eating, looking left, darting a glance right, alert, ready to spring, tail wagging if he had one. Plus, he had to keep pushing stray cats away with his leg.

"Here he comes!" Opie cried out as he came running up hurdling over a couple of cats on the way. Aunt Bee started to cry, and the brown paper bag full of sandwiches slipped out of her hands. Goober sprung off the bench and scooped it up for her.

Andy frantically waved to the boys across the street and they began to play For He's A Jolly Good Fellow. It sounded more like Precious Lord Lead Me On from an old New Orlean's jazz street funeral, but nevertheless they played it with gusto. Mayor Stoner, standing alone, shook his head slowly, frowned and shrugged his shoulders. He pulled out his pocket watch, not really caring about the time, but only as a dull habit.

Thelma Lou, a sight to behold in a light blue dress and white gloves, was at Barney's side carrying a small satchel for him. Barney, looking sharp in his ol' salt and pepper and with his white hat, was lugging an oversized bulging suitcase. Goober shot up, spilled his sack of goodies, and sprinted down the sidewalk to Barney. He took the suitcase and heaved it up onto his shoulder(Good for you, Goob!).

The Mayberry-band-without-a-beat across the way wound down their tune, some stopping on 'C,' some on 'F,' and others screeching to a halt on notes never heard before. Whatever it was it sent some of the cats scattering. Someone had to nudge old-ringing-in-the-ears Luther to stop altogether. When he finally stopped the crowd broke into an enthusiastic applause. Not sure if it was for Luther or if it was for Barney - maybe both. Barney waved his white hat at the boys in appreciation though.

"You boys sound like you could use a good stand-by cymbalist!"
They broke out in riotous laughter. Even Luther slapped his knee.

The evening before, Reverend Tucker had opened up the Church to hold the largest town gathering ever. The Darlings came and played like never before. The boys were in fine form - still silent - but their rendition of Dooley lit up the Church. Charlene's rendition of Salty Dog was so spicy Reverend Tucker stood up and shouted 'one more time!'
Gomer, in town on leave, Andy with his guitar, Barney, and Rafe, did a rousing version of New River Train. And when Gomer was easily cajoled into doing a solo of Oh, My Papa, you'd swore at that moment that this place was Heaven on Earth.....no one blinked or took their eyes off of the troubadour until the last soft notes faded. Everyone was still until someone looked at somebody else and said "Bee's chicken sure was special."

The whole time, Andy could tell by looking at Thelma Lou that the decision had been made and she was to stay behind in Mayberry. She looked pale and tried to keep her chin up, but it was to no avail. Andy suspected that in a very short time too that she would leave home. So, not everything in Mayberry was perfect.

Ernest T. Bass was up in a tree nearby looking down on the scene below in fascination. He probably didn't intend to climb the old oak, but his species tends to do such things probably. From high above he saw a great sight. Everyone merged towards the parting Deputy until he was out of Ernest T.'s view.

"They're gathering around him like....."

He heard one voice try to speak above all the rest. It was the Mayor, unsuccessfully trying to make a speech. He faded quickly. He walked away, shooed some cats away, and sneezed.

The crowd dispersed and he saw Barney walk over to Floyd over at the bench. Barn leaned over for a few moments and Floyd raised his hand and patted Fearless Fife's shoulder. As Barn moved away, Ernest T. cocked his head as he saw the kindly barber wiping his face with a white handkerchief and blowing his nose.

The bus pulled up. Again, everyone crowded around Barney. The boys across the street dropped their instruments and came over too. Otis and Rita helped Floyd up and joined in. Opie and Trey Bowden squeezed through the jungle of big folks to get a better view. Opie came back out wearing Barney's hat. There was a chorus of last good-byes, handshakes, kisses and quick hugs. Andy whispered something into Reverend Tucker's ear. The Reverend hurriedly walked away with a smile and a spring in his step. Barney boarded the Raleigh Special.

The bus slowly began to pull away towards Central Avenue. Last second smiles and waves. Only one figure began to walk after the bus. Her white-gloved hand raised as she strolled a ways down the sidewalk and into Elm Street.

The bus halted as it pulled onto Maple from Central. Barney came off the bus and back towards Thelma Lou. He grabbed her hand and started back towards the bus.

"No corner room at the Y for this guy!"

The crowd cheered. Ernest T. fell out of the tree and the cats scattered as the Church bells began to chime. Reverend Tucker set free two white doves from the All Soul's bell tower.
Away went Barney and Thelma Lou.

And they went together.

THE END

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