The Face at the Window

It was last week this happened. Opie Taylor just got his first job ever delivering the Mayberry Gazette. What a thrill for the little fella! Ope was sure he was just a couple of weeks away from becoming a 'Rockefeller,' as Barney put it. His pa built a carrier for the front of his bike to secure the papers. Goober fixed up some reflectors made from an old squad car red light and attached them to both wheels, behind the seat, and in front. Not that he would be out at night, but as Goober said, "just so's you can shine a-comin' and a-goin."

“I sure hope I can throw them papers so’s they reach the porch,” Opie pondered.
“Welllllll now, let me tell ya about that,” Barney began. “When I was a youngin’ and did my paper route…”
“YOU had a route, Barney?”
“I sure did!”
Andy looked puzzled.
“I don’t recall you ever having a paper route….”
“Sure I did, Ange….remember?”
“Noooo….I….can’t remember….”
Opie practices his throwing motion. “Will you show me, Barney?”
“Well sure!” he said, his well-trained voice rising.
Andy grins. “Now, Ernest T. Bass is the one that can teach ya throwing!”
“Can’t you see I’m trying to teach the boy, Ange!?”
“I was just funnin.’ No need to be so sensitive.”
“I’m not sensitive!”
“Is Barney sensitive, Pa?”
“I think I can speak for myself!” Barney storms out.

Speaking of the devil….Ernest T. comes walkin’ in as Barney was on his way out.
“Hey, Dep-u-teee, did I enter quiet enuff fer ya…hee heeeeee!…….”
They all heard Barney say something as he was a ways down the sidewalk, but the only thing heard clear was ‘assorted nuts.’
Ernest T. stood erect before them and pointed to his mouth to show off his new gold tooth. It was right smack in the middle with gaps on both sides….just like he wanted.
“That’s nice, Ernest T…..nice,” Andy said .
“Hey, Ernest T. Bass, I want to ask you something,” said Opie.
“What, Opie Taylor?” answered Ernest T.
“Can you show me….umm….give me pointers on throwing papers? I got me a job!”
“I’ll show ya, Opie Taylor!” he said, delighted, of course.
“Now, not too hard, Ernest T.,” cautioned Andy, as the backwood’s teacher and his pupil headed out.

So, after school last Tuesday, Opie was on his route, heaving papers expertly, and happily making his way towards Oak Street off of Central, when he lets one fly wayward at Thelma Lou’s house, and it lands underneath one of her twin tall shrubs. Ope makes a u-turn and goes back to retrieve it. As he is climbing the three stone steps to put the Gazette on the shaded porch, out of the corner of his eye he has a vague feeling that he’s being watched. He notices the white lace curtains moving slightly - but it can’t be from a breeze - the window is closed!….and were those abrupt, hurried voices he heard?

Opie dropped to his hands and knees, and slowly made his way towards the window, his heart racing from the excitement. Slowly rising from his crouching position, and trying not to make any sound, he attempted to peer in….but to no avail. He hadn’t been aware that the pocketknife in his front pocket had pushed itself forward and was dangling, and as he stood up it fell to the porch and bounced up against the tin milk box with a bang. He glanced at the window just as the curtain was pushed to one side. There, in the dim light, sitting bolt upright was a face that looked unnatural and inhuman, and it sent chills down Opie’s spine with it’s bloody appearance. Ope gave a violent start as it gawked at him, and he sprang off the porch, grabbed his bike and fled.

Never before had Opie pedaled so hard and so furious, as he made a beeline to the courthouse. But Andy and Barney were gone. Otis was there, but snoring in dreamland. Ope went over and looked in at Floyd’s, but no luck……he got on his bike and hurried home. He kept thinking about that horrible livid bloody face as he road along, and was finally relieved to see the squad car parked at his home. Bursting in the back door, through the kitchen and into the living room, Opie at last found his Pa.

“Whoa, son!….slow down…..you know, one day you’re gonna burst!…..”
“But, Pa!” Opie cried breathlessly, “I hafta tell ya something!” He was pale and collapsed on the couch.

After reciting the events of his paper route adventure, and with Sarah unable to reach Thel, Andy and Opie were on their way over to her house about a half-hour later. Following a few safe paces behind his Pa, Ope haltingly walked up to the porch. Andy reached down and picked up Opie’s pocketknife, there next to the milkbox, and handed it to his son. He peered briefly at the window, then rang the doorbell and knocked.
Opening the door slowly about half way stood Thelma Lou, looking a little surprised, with a pink flush upon her cheeks.
“Why, Andy…..hello,” she said in astonishment.
“Thelma Lou…..is everything ok here?” he asked, with a deeply concerned voice.
“Why…..yes….why do you ask?” Her wide dove-like eyes looked mighty guilty.
Andy could see through the gap in the half-opened door that someone was hiding behind it. He knew he had to act quickly but carefully not to endanger Thel.
“Uhhh….I’m helping Ope with his route, and was just making sure you got……yours…..ok.”
“Ok.”

Suddenly, Andy’s face became relaxed and he let out a sigh of relief. Looking into Thel’s living room he saw the reflection in the mirror over the mantel. There, scrunched behind the door was Barney, his face enameled with red lipstick and his hair grizzled. Andy did all he could not to laugh out loud. But why embarrass poor Thel? He hurriedly said goodbye, put his hand on Opie’s shoulder and led him away.
“But, Pa!”
“I’ll explain later, son.”

The next morning Andy and Barney were sitting quietly in the courthouse having their coffee as usual.
Loose-wheelchair-bolts Taylor couldn’t help it.
“How are you and Thelma Lou getting along these days, Red?…..I mean, Barn?” he asked, with a glint in his eyes.
“Uh…..fine…wonderful….great…..well, I better get out on patrol.” Barney slithers quickly out the front door. A few moments later the door opens and he’s back.
“Well, life isn’t all just fighting organized crime ya know!”
“I know,” Andy said, biting his lip.
“You’re warped!!” Barney slams the door.
Andy leans with his head thrown back in riotous laughter.

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